i think I sent an accidental death threat to Fatboy slim smh i was high as shit and in my head I came up with what couldve easily been fatboy slims comeback hit but I knew i had a tendency to forget shit when I came down so I knew I had a small time window so I needed to contact fatboy slim as quickly as I could to sell him this idea but I only had 140 chars to do it so I thought the best way to tweet it was “@fatboyslim you have 6 hours”
listen. it’s 2018. it’s time to admit, finally, that bbc sherlock is, in fact, bad, and was only good because we watched it when we were 15 and didn’t know how to dismantle scripts that SOUND clever but are really just gold-flake covered shit
*angry and annoyed asexual agreement*
what’s this mean
It means they agreed but weren’t like, horny about it i guess
I’m sitting at home, minding my own damn business when fucking Yorick (my personal skull, an old decoration that told jokes before it died a couple years ago) tells a fucking joke. Out of the blue. Not even a joke. “1…2…Boo!” He says cryptically, then he laughed and I fucking turned in my chair, pausing in my leisurely screening of Halloweentown 2 and drawing Hamlet. I put down my fucking tablet pen and go to Yorick’s spot on top of the microwave. He is silent, as skulls should properly be.
And I fucking turn him over
And I look at his fucking power switch even though I’m Positive this guy died years ago.
And It Wasn’t Even On Boys. It Wasn’t Even On.
Power switches mean nothing when you’re a fellow of infinite jest
Is it infinite jest if it’s one a.m. and it made me piss my pants
okay so one night like a week or two ago kurt was meowing at me and one of the meows sounded like he was saying “hewwo” so since then I started saying “hewwo” instead of meowing back at him (like I do with all his cat sounds, naturally) and slowly his meows evolved into something vaguely “hewwo”like with the one or two True and Powerful Hewwo’s a day
but now that you have backstory I was just standing in my kitchen making rice, everythings dead silent, and suddenly this fucking “HEWWO??” echoes through the whole apartment and it almost killed me
And here’s our average joe, who was just explained five minutes ago how curling works.
Here’s Stacey, she’s ice skated twice in her whole life and today she competes beside the best in the world and-oh she fell again. What a good sport look at her get up using the wall.
2nd of my herbal hand series - astrological signs and their corresponding herbs. other herbs also associated with virgo; savory, southernwood, valerian
